You know...I've probably started writing this article a hundred different times over the years. I'd sit down, type a couple of paragraphs, stare at the screen for a minute, and then delete the whole thing. Not because I was afraid to say it, but because I knew exactly how people would read it. The second you question one of the industry's favorite catchphrases, people automatically assume you're bitter, angry, or trying to settle scores. That's not what this is, and honestly, if that's what you're looking for, you're probably going to be disappointed.
Matter of fact, this business has been incredibly good to our family. We've been blessed beyond anything I could've imagined when Liliana and I first picked up a camera. We've met amazing families, watched girls become young women, photographed weddings, celebrated milestones, built friendships, and built a business that changed our lives forever. So this isn't written from the perspective of somebody who feels cheated by the industry. It's written by somebody who's spent more than fifteen years paying attention.
When we first started, I believed every bit of that phrase..."community over competition." It sounded right. It felt right. It was the kind of business world I wanted to be part of. I figured if you worked hard, treated people with respect, helped when you could, and stayed in your own lane, you'd naturally become part of this great community everyone kept talking about.
And for a while, that's exactly what it looked like.
People were encouraging. Photographers complimented each other's work. Everybody talked about lifting each other up. Conferences were full of handshakes, hugs, group photos, and speeches about supporting one another. If you were new, people cheered you on. If you had questions, somebody usually had an answer. Looking back, I don't even think most people were being fake. I think they genuinely believed what they were saying.
Then something happened.
Not overnight. Not because of one photographer. Not because of one bad experience.
It happened slowly, over years, and it taught me one of the biggest lessons I've ever learned about business.
Success has a funny way of changing the people around you.
I don't mean everybody.
I mean enough people that you eventually notice a pattern.
You see, community is easy when everybody's standing at the same starting line. It's easy to encourage the new photographer who's still trying to figure everything out. It's easy to clap for somebody who isn't really affecting your business. But once you stop trying to fit into the industry and start trying to build something different, things have a way of changing.
For us, that moment came when we quit thinking like photographers and started thinking like builders.
Instead of asking ourselves how to book one more client, we started asking bigger questions. How do we make planning easier for families? How do we build resources that actually help people? How do we create something valuable even for someone who never hires us? How do we become known for serving instead of just selling?
So we started building.
Articles. Planning guides. Videos. Downloads. Tools. Websites. Podcasts.
Things that nobody was asking us to create but that we believed families needed.
I'll be honest with you...building is addictive. Once you realize you can create something that didn't exist yesterday, it changes the way you look at business. You're no longer chasing everybody else. You're chasing ideas.
That's when I also realized something else.
Not everybody celebrates builders.
Some people are inspired by them.
Some people are curious.
Some people quietly cheer you on.
And some people get uncomfortable.
That's life.
It isn't unique to photography. You'll find it in construction, real estate, restaurants, law offices, hospitals, churches...wherever people compete, human nature shows up. That's why I've stopped looking at this as a photography problem. It's a people problem.
People compare.
People compete.
People form little circles.
People pick favorites.
People repeat slogans because they sound good, even when real life is a lot more complicated.
Over the years I've watched this industry become more concerned with appearances than conversations. Everybody wants to post about kindness, support, and community. Almost nobody wants to talk about insecurity, comparison, ego, or the pressure that success can create. Those conversations aren't as fun. They don't get as many likes. They don't fit neatly inside a motivational quote.
But they're real.
And if we're going to have an honest conversation, then let's have an honest conversation.
Business can be ugly.
Not every day.
Not with everybody.
But enough that pretending otherwise doesn't help the next person walking into this industry.
Here's where my thinking changed.
One day I caught myself spending too much time wondering what other people were doing. Who agreed with us. Who didn't. Who supported us. Who didn't. I realized I was giving away something I could never get back.
My time.
That's when I made a decision that completely changed the way I looked at business.
Instead of spending my energy worrying about what everybody else was building...
I'd spend it building something they weren't.
That became our answer to everything.
Every challenge became another reason to create.
Every disappointment became another reason to improve.
Every obstacle became another opportunity to ask, "What can we build so families never have to deal with this?"
Looking back now, I'm actually thankful for those lessons because they forced us to become more creative than we ever would've been if everything had gone perfectly. Comfort rarely pushes people to innovate. Challenges usually do.
So when somebody asks me today if I believe in "community over competition," my answer is a little different than it was fifteen years ago.
I believe in community.
I believe in helping people.
I believe in sharing what you've learned.
I believe in celebrating good work.
But I also believe in keeping your eyes open.
I believe character matters more than hashtags.
I believe consistency beats popularity.
I believe builders eventually outlast noise.
Most of all, I believe that if you spend your life creating things that genuinely help people, you'll never have to spend much time worrying about what everybody else is doing.
That's where our focus is today.
Not on fitting in.
Not on chasing approval.
Not on trying to be accepted by every circle.
Just building.
Brick by brick.
Day after day.
Year after year.
Because in the end, the things that tried to slow us down didn't become stumbling blocks.
They became stepping stones.
And if this newsletter becomes anything, I hope that's what it reminds people of.
The world doesn't need another photographer telling you how to edit skin tones.
Photographers can get nasty and desperate. That is when they start to copycat everything, boost posts, purposely targe you and build groups of other tasteless friends and go against you. Trust me I have seen it all, I have seen personally think tank groups created just to try to knock poor ole little me out of the runnings. But guess what?, they always run out of gas.
It might need a few more willing to talk honestly about the business behind the business.
Welcome to Behind the Camera: It Gets Ugly.
We've got a lot more to talk about.
🎙 Continue the Conversation
Some conversations are just too big for an article.
Some stories deserve a microphone.
If today's article made you laugh, nod your head, disagree, or simply made you think...
...then let's keep the conversation going.
That's exactly why we created The Sandbox Podcast.
No scripts.
No fake motivation.
No sugarcoating.
Just real conversations from people who've actually lived this industry.
And remember...
When nobody wants to air out the industry's dirty laundry...we're just over here filling up baskets and folding clothes, sucka.
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